Since I was a kid I´ve always liked to climb up at things, jump around, be training, biking and moving the body. It was natural that I fell inlove with differet kind of sports. During my childhood, when I still was young and “without knowledge” about the body I did everything my body handled to do- I was natural flexible and not so scared to try new things. That is really cool and positive!
But what is the negative part of this? Yes, I didn´t had builded up muscles enough to support my flexibility and to put the body in different more “extreme” acrobatic poses etc. This led to a few injuries, broken feet, thumbs, twisted bodyparts and so on. Not so fun, no. Today I am a lot smarter and know my limits and have a lot of knowledge about how to do and how to NOT do. 😉 But to come back to the subject of this post:
In the beginning of all the injuries I was crying and pain like a pig! Even the smallest, tiniest injury was big for me. But one injury after the other I started to “control” myself and get used by the pains.
For example: I broken my thumb but I didn´t went to the doctor until two weeks later. Of course I was in a lot of pain but the pain was something “normal” for me and I thought it was just twisted or something. Or when I had an broken foot but walked on it for a month before I realize it was really bad… And even if I go directly to the hospital when a injury happened I am just talking in a normal tone to the doctor: “Yes, this hurts a lot. I know my body and I know this one is broken and I need and X-ray. It hurts, really, really hurts!” This is how an normal conversation can be from me. I don´t cry, I don´t scream and behave like the pain is killing me.
And how does most of the doctors react? They look at the bodypart that is injured and then send me home with painkillers and “Come back if it´s not better in a week”. Most of the times I comes back and it was broken (or other bad things). They always get chocked about how calm I am even the this extreme pain. And this is good for me that I dont “die” because of the pain, that I can focus on other things.
But the bad side of being good to handle pain like this is that anyone is taking me serious until it is “to late”. And my mum always need to remind me, before I go to the hospital, that:
“Yasmin, remember now to really SHOW them how much pain you have because they wont understand you when you just TELL them how much pain you have.”
And that is sad but true- and I need to really convince them and SHOW even more how much pain I have because otherwhise they don´t take me as serious as they should. And this is the same in my daily life: when I get sick I don´t fall apart and “die” in the bed- I am trying to keep my mood up, try to smile, talk and eat good. And then people around me think that I am not so sick. And this even if I am TELLING them how sick I am/how bad I feel etc. And this can be so frustrated soooo many times for me! I don´t want anyone to feel sorry for me but at least I want people to take me serious. I am trying to really work with the communication to SPEAK to the other people but if I am not LOOKING like a caos they assume I am good.
It is so hard. I dont want to push myself to look bad if it dosn´t comes naturally. But I want the communication to be taking serious. Can anyone of you refer to this?